The Need for Speed

I clipped this image from the front page of USA Today. The image came with this poll:

"How Would You Describe Your Driving?"

1. Hard-core speeder
2. Sometimes speeder
3. Speed-law observer
4. Not sure

Once upon a time (when I was single) I think that I would have answered 1.2.. not sure that I was hard-core but I did speed a lot. I remember how difficult it was to stay under 70mph when I lived in Texas and Mexico.. all that desert and no one to be seen for miles and miles.. once I did get pulled over in Mexico doing 90mph.. and was decelerating at the time.

In my middle-years I think that my poll answer would have been 2.. especially when I was on a long trip to see my family back east. I think that my driving habits back then were reflective of my Type-A personality.. I always had my watch set 5 minutes ahead back then.. I had places to go and people to see.. and I was so important.

These days I think that I would answer the poll with a 2.9. I usually observe the speed limit but occasionally catch myself going a few miles over the posted limit. I guess I am just not in that much of a hurry to get where I am going.

How would you have answered the poll? Have you slowed down since your youth?

The Hurt Locker | ★★★★★★★★★

I was surprised by this great movie about the war in Iraq. Here is the Netflix writeup:

Kathryn Bigelow directs this gripping drama (winner of the Best Picture Oscar) following one of the U.S. Army's elite EOD (explosive ordnance disposal) teams operating in the ferocious war zone of Iraq. As the squad identifies and dismantles improvised explosive devices and other bombs, they must also contend with the frayed nerves and internal conflicts that arise from living in constant peril.

I found the movie to be moving and educational at the same time. I thought it was a pretty believable rendering of what it must be like to live in such a dangerous place doing such a life-threatening job. The lead character, Will James, was portrayed so well by Jeremy Renner.. he showed us the type of person needed to defuse explosive devices.. Sergeant James seemed to be such an amazing blend of courage, testosterone and wisdom. At one point he tells us that he has defused 873 explosive devices.

I enjoyed the movie and thought that it honored our troops serving overseas. It was especially meaningful to me as my son has served two year-long tours on the front lines of Iraq. I recommend it to you. On a scale of 10 I give this movie ★★★★★★★★★

Not Those 14th Century Cures Anyway

I grew up watching Jerry Lewis host telethons for Muscular Dystrophy and I honestly believed that MD would be cured in my lifetime.. I turn 61 this week and my hope that major diseases like MD will be cured before I die is slim at best. It seems that all of my life researchers have been futilely looking for cures to diseases like cancer, diabetes, AIDS, ALS, MD, MS, NMO, and many other acronymed diseases.

Apart from that it seems that we humans are also killing ourselves slowly with the food and substances that we ingest. Comforting to know that we have improved some though considering that, according to to this site, the people of 14th century Europe battled disease using superstitious and uninformed treatments like:

• bathing in human urine;
• wearing of excrement;
• placing dead animals in homes;
• use of leeches that sucked out blood;
• drinking molten gold and powdered emeralds.

So glad we have advanced past those things. Even so, in the past few years I have spent a few bucks researching and imbibing other nonprescription home remedies to battle osteoarthritis and elevated cholesterol levels.. and I have not found any to really deliver results.. but I still take high levels of concentrated fish oil each day hoping that it will do me some good over time. And people often tell me that I need to find a family of leeches to help me to reduce my high iron levels.

I am still hopeful that research on things like stem cells may one day produce a cure for diseases like NMO (the one my wife battles). Until then I will remain thankful for the drugs and therapies that are helping fight off diseases after they inflict their victims.. and especially today I am thankful for Rituxin - that chemo drug that is helping my wife as she gets a dose of it today.

Do you remember watching Jerry and thinking how one day these diseases would be cured? Have you found any natural/home remedies to work for you?

Remembering a New York Woman

This past January my mom died in New Jersey. She was 93.. she would have been 94 this month. Today is my first Mother's day without her. Following is a childhood picture of mom (on the left) with her sister Blanche … along with a few excerpts from the eulogy that I shared at her funeral:

Growing up I got to spend a lot of time with Mom’s mom. There were a lot of similarities between Grandma and Mom: they were both feisty New Yorkers … both had a great heart and deep seated love for their family. Like Grandma, Mom was a very independent woman … she was a strong woman … she ran the house … paid the bills … and rode herd over four New York kids and made sure that we were in church at All Saints Episcopal every Sunday.
...
I already miss my Mom. I want to end my talk by sharing a few thoughts with you about her. When I think about my Mom I will always think of a New York woman … it was hard to keep up with Mom … she could out-walk anybody on the sidewalks of the city … at times when I was growing up she seemed so fearless.

When I think of her, I will also think of an imperfect woman … Mom made mistakes but she was not a person who let herself wallow in those mistakes … she knew how to forgive herself and move on … it took me a while to understand that about her.

But most of all I will remember Mom as the woman who was instrumental in making me who I am today. My Mom showed me how to be tough in adversity – God knows I have needed that lesson. She taught me to believe in others and believe in myself … she always accepted me and loved me for who I was. Mom was proud of me whether I was in school, in the Army or working at AT&T. When I was around her I felt encouraged … you know, it was years after I left home that I realized that I had limitations.

I knew no limits with Mom … her love for me inspires me still.

Favorite President Poll Results

Thanks to the twenty-four folks that took my favorite recent president poll. Here are a few observations that I took away from it:

• You all are so politically diverse. The vote was dead even between the democratic and republican presidents given that I voted for the first President Bush.
• Neither President Bush was popular when compared to President Reagan. 
• Republican nostalgia seemed a bit present.. even I pine for those good old Reagan days.
• President Obama is the most popular among democrats but not in the same way that President Reagan is among republicans. Maybe he will be in a few years?

I do wonder how Independents voted. I think of myself as one of those indie folks - but I did vote for the GOP candidate in most of the last nine presidential elections. Maybe I am only an IINO but I don't think that I have ever been a RINO.

What are your thoughts about the poll? Any surprises? Want to change your vote?

Please take my new First Lady poll on my sidebar.. seems like an appropriate way to honor first moms on Mother's Day.

Vote for My New Answering Machine Message

A few suggestions from this funny site.. please vote for one of these messages and I might change my message.. if my wife gives me permission.

1. Hello. I'm Bob's answering machine.
   What are you?
2. Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say?
3. Hi, this is Bob. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.
4. I'm only here in spirit at the moment, but if you'll leave your name and number, I will get back to you as soon as I'm here in person. 
5. You have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep.
6. Hello. You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
7. You have reached 555-5555. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition. You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded. If we don't return your call, it means the machine did not work. 
8. Thank you for calling 555-5555. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system.
9. The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password.
10. You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me.

Please vote on one of these, the other 80 messages here or suggest one of your own.

The Age of Majority: 18 or 21?

This cartoon reminded me of an interesting blog post and following comment dialog that my friend Barbara had on her blog. The essence of the dialog was whether the age of majority in the United States should be 18 or 21. The topics involved voting and drinking ages as well as the maturity level needed to serve in the military and potentially risk your life in war.. some stuff that we don't think too much about.

Over the years I have been all over the place on this issue. I really resented the state of Texas for denying me the right to drink a beer when I was 19 and lived there during my military service. I felt that they disrespected me and my service to our country.

In more recent years, after discussing front-line battle situations with my son, I have come to believe that a person should be at least 21 to serve in the military. Some of my son's descriptions of 19 year olds on the front-lines of war are disturbing and troubling. I think that teenagers are too young to be put in these life and death situations.

I have similar thoughts about the maturity levels needed to cast a ballot in the voting booth. I am not saying that all 19 year olds are immature but I have noticed that many of the ones I know may not be the best informed on the issues.. and yes.. I know that folks over 21 fall in that same category.. some people stay politically young forever.

So I kind of net these things out.. I think of how many young people are not really independent.. some live with their parents and others go to college on their parents dime.. I think about how immature I was before 21.. and I feel that.. all things considered.. the drinking age should not be lowered but the voting and military ages should be raised.

And I know that I have not even mentioned the age of majority when it comes to criminal prosecution.. or the age when a person should be eligible to drive a car (see this post for my thoughts on teen drivers).. I think that those may be different issues.. but frankly I am not sure they are.. I just don't want to think about them right now.

Either way it seems that the age of majority for drinking, military service and voting should all be the same age. To me, it still seems disrespectful to tell a soldier that we honor his service but not enough to allow him to drink a beer. An alternative would be to keep things as they are and allow a soldier to show their military ID and be allowed to drink before age 21?

What do you think the age of majority should be? Any stories?

Defiance | ★★★★★★★★★★

I am not sure how this wonderful 2008 movie got by my radar. I am so glad that Netflix recommended it to me. It is the inspirational true story of Tuvia Bielski, one of four Jewish brothers who escape from Nazi occupied Poland into the forests of Belarus during World War II to lead a band of resistance fighters and create a safe haven for Jewish refugees. The real-life sanctuary established by the Bielski brothers saved more than 1,000 Jews from persecution and death.

At times the movie broke my heart - I will never understand the cruelty of Nazi soldiers or the people who did not help the Jewish people. I was so inspired by the courage of the Bielski brothers and the people they led and protected in the forest. Daniel Craig and Liev Schreiber played the eldest Bielski brothers and gave us a peek into the frustrations of losing their parents, wives, children and the people they cherished. The actions of the Jews in the forest often show us their raw emotions and their desire for avenge the ones they lost to the inhumanity of the Nazis.

The movie is over two hours long but it did not seem that long. The story grabs you and keeps you entranced by these courageous people as they endure the hardships of a Belorussian winter and struggle to find community in the midst of such difficult times. The selflessness and strong leadership of Tuvia is most inspirational and reminiscent of other strong cinematic leaders like William Wallace of Braveheart.. some of the Jews in the story called him Moses.. he did seem to carry them in his heart.

I highly recommend this movie. On a scale of 10 I give this movie ★★★★★★★★★★

My Cinco de Mayo Taco Story

In the same way that everyone is Irish on St Patrick's Day, today everyone is Mexican.. at least in the way that they eat and drink to celebrate the day that commemorates the Mexican army's unlikely victory over the French on May 5, 1862.

I think this funny picture is the image of Mexican food that I had in 1970 when my Army buddy, Conrad, brought me from El Paso to his home in Phoenix. When we got there his mom announced that we were having tacos. I hope that I didn't but I may have made a face about eating something "Mexican". Although I had lived in the El Paso, Texas area for several years I had not even tried Mexican food.

I was a finicky eater back then - not so much these days.. unfortunately. In retrospect it is pretty funny.. sometimes I think that tacos are more American than Mexican. I can still remember that dinner in Phoenix and how much I loved those tacos. The following year was replete with many trips to Taco Bell in El Paso to grab some of those delicious folded tortilla sandwiches. I even branched out a bit eating the occasional burrito but think that I mainly stayed with those wonderful tacos.

My wife and I left the Army and El Paso in October of 1971 (yes I got married in June of that year) and moved back to New York - the place of no tacos or burritos. A year or so later we introduced my New York family to the world of tacos.. I am not sure where we got the shells. Our taco dinner was met with raves as my New York family was introduced to the world of Cinco de Mayo.. well.. they liked the tacos and eventually.. years later.. a Taco Bell showed up in the area.. and people of the New York area had access to fast food Mexican.

Do you remember the first time you tried Mexican food? How will you celebrate today?

Whoda Thunk It?

About twenty years ago when you we laying around the pool looking up at the clouds and dreaming about what great things might come in twenty years you might have been thinking about hover-cars without tires and cures for cancer. Who would have ever thought that these things would be popular:

• Premium Coffee Drinks: 20 years ago I had never even tasted a cappuccino much lest tasted one. And I used to be very happy with the taste of Folgers.. even the instant crystal version seemed okay way back then. Sadly those days of cheap caffeinated drinks have given way to very expensive brews and blends. I wouldn't touch that Folgers these days - unless you offered me some at your place of course.
• Bottled Water: This one still amazes me. I remember having to buy bottles of water when I was in China in 1987 and thinking how lucky I was to live in a place where the water from the tap was clean enough to consume orally. Now I have a water filter on my refrigerator - even my ice cubes are pure. Sadly I still use the kitchen sink to fill up my glass.
• Liquid Soap: Anyone remember the days when each sink had a soap dish that hosted a communal bar of soap that we all used to wash our hands? These days each of my 5 of my 6 sinks have their own liquid soap dispensers. I have to admit that I do like the feel of the Dial liquid soap that we use - and it is antibacterial as well!
• Crocs: When I was growing up guys did not wear sandals and we called those rubbery foot things "thongs" (i.e. flip flops) that we mainly used in public showers. These days everyone wears Crocs (see image) - I have two pair of them. They are cheap.. after all most of them are made of rubber (mine have canvas or leather trim) and pretty functional. Even so I still see a lot of sandals and flip-flops out there.

What have I forgot? I know that there are other things that have surprised me over the past 20 years. Can you think of any other stuff?

Immigration: Compromise instead of Confrontation

I thought that this Associated Press article, titled Could immigration furor create positive evolution?, presented an interesting perspective on the new immigration law in Arizona:

What good could possibly come of this bad situation? A lot, it turns out. Because suddenly the entire nation is having a huge Arizona conversation, from rallies on the streets to voices on the airwaves — and there are signs of compromise instead of confrontation.

The emotional outcry could, counterintuitively, improve the country's immigration situation in the long run by addressing directly a problem Americans have faced for a long time: We have no effective system for dealing with people who risk everything and break the law to come here.

"It's a deplorable situation. But it will have an energizing, mobilizing effect," said Thomas Saenz, president and general counsel of the Mexican American Legal Defense and Educational Fund. The Arizona law, he said, has caused a conversation that otherwise would have remained largely undiscussed.

I do not live in Arizona and do not know what the impact of illegal immigrants have had on that state.. so I guess I do not want to criticize too harshly the bill that has raised all of the national angst and outrage. I do share the concerns many have about racial profiling and think that the bill could be very problematic for law enforcement.

I do agree with the essence of this article though. Before the Arizona law was passed discussion of US immigration policy was way on the back burner of political debate. I mean really - where were these discussions when the bill was being debated by the Arizona legislature? So maybe a good outcome of the bill is that it returned immigration to front and center of the national debate.

Lets hope congress can get passed the Arizona law and begin constructive debate on national immigration reform. Lets hope that we will get passed confrontation. Lets hope that the lasting effect will be an increase in conversation and compromise. With that in mind what compromise would like to see brought to the immigration debate? Do you think that there is a middle ground?

One is the Loneliest Number

Hmmm. That post title cause me to flash back to my early twenties when "Three Dog Night" sang that song. As many of you might have guessed.. I am a lover of quotes.. I am signed up for several "quote of the day" services. Today these two quotes came across my virtual desk:

"We're all in this alone." -Lily Tomlin

"Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it." -Tallulah Bankhead

These speak to me of how many of us really feel alone in the world. In a sense we are alone in our uniqueness - no two people grieve alike.. each of us experience pain differently.. the recipe that brings us joy is so diverse.. and we can sometimes feel so alone in our uniqueness wondering if anyone really "gets us".. sometimes questioning whether people really care.. often going to some pretty dark places.

I remember when my first wife Ellen died how people would ask me if I was lonely. I would usually say no.. after all I did have many people at work that I interacted with during the day and my children with me when I was not at work. What I would think though was how alone I felt.. I wondered if I would ever find another person who would "get me". Fortunately I did.

Even so I still have times when I find myself feeling alone.. even in prayer I often do not sense God's presence. It is at these times that I have learned to let myself embrace the stillness. Instead of running away from the discomfort of being alone I turn it inside out. I find that it can be a time of building a relationship with myself.. time to meditate on the things that are going on in my life and examine deeply how I feel about those things.

I think that it is so easy to be dependent on others, and even events, for our happiness.. and when those people or events are not present we can feel so alone in our sadness or our happiness. Now I am not saying that we do not need the presence of people or God - these are essential aspects to our well being. I am just saying that it can be healthy to be comfortable with being alone. Maybe it is another way to say that we must find a way to love ourselves before we are able to love others in a healthy way.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this. What do you do when you are alone?

Calvin Borel Does It Again

He did it again.. Calvin Borel won the Kentucky Derby for the third time in the last four years riding 15/1 favorite, Super Saver, across the finish line today. Simply amazing.

Congrats to the reigning king of the jockeys.

A Cow Standing in the Rain

Something about this funny Shoebox cartoon that speaks to me about being a nonconformist. So much of my work life I conformed to the image that I had about the expectations of the company that I worked for. Only part of that expectation involved clothes.. and yes I dutifully wore a tie in those days. I wonder how many corporate executives or even religious leaders could be labeled as conformists. Seems like the great ones were not.

Here are a few thoughts about it:

The average man is a conformist, accepting miseries and disasters with the stoicism of a cow standing in the rain. -Colin Wilson

Every society honors its live conformists, and its dead troublemakers. -Mignon McLaughlin

You don't get harmony when everybody sings the same note. -Doug Floyd

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. -Mark Twain

The reward for conformity was that everyone liked you except yourself. -Rita Mae Brown