The Criticism Filter

Therese Borchard writes a mental health blog for BeliefNet titled Beyond Blue. Recently she posted about not taking criticism personally where she quotes don Miguel Ruiz saying:
“Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements in their own minds.”
This quote is packed with wisdom and is so healthy - not that it is easy to do. Yet I find that it is so important in life to really filter what people say to me. Often I can be so sensitive and take things the wrong way. And when my filter is out of order I can blow comments way out of proportion because I have believed and owned what they have said.

And about that criticism filter - one of the holes in it is insecurity and another is fear. I am not as insecure or fearful as I once was but I still struggle on occasion. And when I struggle I react to criticisms differently than when my filter is fully functional. So for me, a bad reaction to criticism helps me to examine my filter and find out why it is not working.

What kind of holes do you have in your criticism filter?


  1. Bob, My friend,

    You link to the most interesting sites. I've bookmarked this one and will look at it often. Thanks.

  2. Thanks, Bob. I definitely need to show my husband this one. The next door "grass grinch" has gotten under his skin to the point he'll hardly even go out the door if she's in sight. For some reason, he's not able to let go of the incident where she lost her temper and screamed at us. There was a time when I couldn't have handled it either, but I refuse to become a prisoner in my own home due to her inability to control her temper.

  3. It's hard for me to take criticism being such a "People Pleaser" by nature.. I learning, but strangly encough, I have not encountered very much credit to me, I just haven't. Probably because I'm not a confrontive personality.

  4. I have to replace my filter at least every six months.


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