Domestic Violence

My friend Pam has an insightful post on Domestic Violence. Here are a few of the quotes from her friend that was in a violent marriage:
Battered woman have NORMAL reactions to ABNORMAL situations.

For people to know that it wasn’t because I was “weak” (I have heard that many times).
Pam includes a link to an article titled Clergy Responses to Domestic Violence. That article lists the following wrong clergy responses to domestic violence:
  1. Clergy often tells abused women that they should be more submissive to their husbands.
  2. Clergy rarely condemn domestic violence from the pulpit.
  3. Clergy often minimize the prevalence and gravity of domestic violence.
  4. Clergy are often so concerned about preserving marriage that they advise against separating, let alone divorcing, from an abusive husband. This is largely the result of naivete regarding the challenge of getting abusive men to change their behavior.
  5. Clergy often state or imply that the women is partly responsible for the abuse.

The article also lists some positive suggestions for clergy. Please check out Pam's post and the article that she links to - and send a link to her post to your pastor or some other member of the clergy. He or she will thank you.

2 comments:

  1. I take a hard stance on domestic violence. The thing that I heard from my friend who was in a relationship was that he was constantly going to stop. These people who hurt know too well how to lie to themselves and the ones who love them. My friend felt very trapped and at time crazy, another lie from him. She felt that her religious belief meant that she owed him one my chance over and over again. I never thought her stupid I just felt that she needed to get help to break free of the mind games this man had played on her and her children.

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  2. Thank You pam--

    Kansas Bob... I to am in the land of OZ native but heart is in NY..
    Could it be that the powers that may be.. have brought ur blog post through my filter..??
    Please let me know..
    Love and Light to you...


    Curious.... only... as this alert came across my filters.. typically religion exasperates the problem of dv.. the battered woman losses even her own faith.. she is stripped of everything...life dignity children... soul...

    Faith is needed no matter what that faith may be... to believe in and of urself.. how can YOU and I and others help the victims of DV..???

    I truly am looking to building bridges and seek simply world peace.

    ThX
    Claudine Dombrowski
    AngelFury@AngelFury.org

    "Inter-American Commission Human Rights"Petition-
    Lead Plaintiff- Human rights violations as a Battered Mother.

    http://www.stopfamilyviolence.org/ocean/host.php?page=0

    PRESS RELEASE
    May 11, 2007

    FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

    CONTACT:
    Irene Weiser
    actnow ^t stopfamilyviolence.org
    607-539-6856


    MOTHERS FILE INTERNATIONAL COMPLAINT AGAINST UNITED STATES

    Mother’s day complaint claims United States courts violate human rights of abused women and children.

    NEW YORK, On May 11, just before Mother’s Day weekend, ten mothers, one victimized child, now an adult, leading national and state organizations filed a complaint against the United States with the Inter American Commission on Human Rights. The case claims that U.S. courts, by frequently awarding child custody to abusers and child molesters, has failed to protect the life, liberties, security and other human rights of abused mothers and their children.

    “For more than 30 years U.S. judges have given custody or unsupervised visitation of children to abusers and molesters putting the children directly at risk,” says Dianne Post, an international attorney who authored the petition. “These horrendous human rights violations have been brought to the attention of family court systems, and state and federal governments, to no avail. We turn now to international courts to protect the rights and safety of US children.”

    The complaint details several cases with documented medical evidence of child sexual abuse, yet in each instance the father who was accused of abuse was given full custody of the children. Several of the mothers were jailed by the courts because of their persistent efforts to protect their children from abuse, several were ordered not to speak of the abuse and not to report abuse to authorities. Every mother was denied contact with her child for some period of time though none was ever proven to have harmed them.

    "My life was completely shattered apart on that day and my childhood was destroyed," said Jeff Hoverson, the adult child petitioner, about the day a family court judge ordered sheriff deputies to deliver him into the custody of his abuser. "It was as if I was just kidnapped. I was torn from everything I knew....I was made into a possession rather than a child." Hoverson endured years of trauma and fear living in his father's home before escaping and returning to his mother at age 17. He is haunted by years of feeling helpless to prevent his father's night-time visits to his sisters’ bedrooms.

    “The cases in this petition represent the proverbial tip of the iceberg,” says Irene Weiser, executive director of the online organization Stop Family Violence. “We are contacted by an average of three protective mothers each week who have lost custody to fathers accused of child abuse - in many cases with supporting medical evidence. This is a nationwide crisis of enormous proportion.”

    “The lives of thousands of children and mothers have been irreparably harmed by family courts across our nation,” says Joyanna Silberg, Ph.D., executive vice-president of The Leadership Council on Child Abuse and Interpersonal Violence, another national organizations supporting the petition. “The years of trauma and psychological abuse because of the courts’ failings result in lasting emotional damage to the children they are supposed to protect.”

    Studies of gender bias in the courts, conducted in the 1980’s and 90’s, found disturbing trends of courts minimizing or excusing men’s violence against women, and favoring the abusers. In 1990 the United States Congress passed a resolution recommending the prohibition of giving joint or sole custody to abusers. Seventeen years later, the practice continues unabated. Ten years ago today, leading national organizations were joined by members of Congress in a protest in Washington D.C. to again raise awareness about the problems in family courts. Today, petitioners say, the problem is systemic and widespread in family law courts across the nation.

    The petition seeks a finding from the Inter-American Commission on Human Rights that the U.S. has violated the Declaration of the Rights and Responsibilities of Man and the Charter of the Organization of American States and a statement of the steps that the U.S. must take to comply with its human rights obligations in regards to battered women and children in child custody cases.

    The Inter-American Commission on Human Rights was created in 1959 and is expressly authorized to examine allegations of human rights violations by members of the Organization of American States, which include the United States. It also carries out on-site visits to observe the general human rights situations in all 35 member states of the Organization of American States and to investigate specific allegations of violations of Inter-American human rights treaties. Its charge is to promote the observance and the defense of human rights in the Americas.

    Dianne Post, a 1980 graduate of the University of Wisconsin law school, has worked on issues of gender based violence since 1976. In addition to private practice and legal aid, she has taught legal classes and been a consultant working or living in Russia, Cambodia, Hungary and some dozen other countries. She is currently in Vladivostok, Russia.

    In addition to The Leadership Council on Child Abuse and Interpersonal Violence, other national organizations supporting the international lawsuit include: National Organization for Women and the NOW Foundation, National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Justice For Children, National Family Court Watch Project, Legal Momentum, Family Violence Prevention Fund, National Alliance to End Sexual Violence, Domestic Violence Report, Sidran Traumatic Stress Institute, and the National Center on Sexual and Domestic Violence. The petition is supported by many state organizations as well.

    In December 2005, the American Civil Liberties Union filed a petition against the United States with the Inter American Commission on Human Rights for their failure to protect Jessica Gonzales’ three children from their abusive father, who murdered them. Their petition, the first of its kind, asserted that domestic violence victims have the right to be protected by the state from the violent acts of their abusers.


    For additional information contact:
    Irene Weiser
    Stop Family Violence
    actnow ^t stopfamilyviolence.org
    607-539-6856

    View the petition at http://www.StopFamilyViolence.org/468

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