You might live in Missouri if ...
According to Jeff Foxworthy you might live in, or hail from, Missouri if ...
• someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't even work there.
• you've worn shorts and a jacket at the same time.
• you know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
• you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' and back again in the same day.
• driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
• you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both doors unlocked.
• you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them.
• everyone in your family has been on a "float trip".
• "Vacation" means driving to Silver Dollar City, Worlds of Fun or Six Flags.
• you ever rode a school bus over an hour each way.
• you had school classes canceled because of cold.
• you think “deer season” is a national holiday.
• "Down South" means Arkansas and you know where Idiots Out Wandering Around are located.
• you had school classes canceled because of heat.
• you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching.
• you know that Harry S. Truman, Walt Disney, George Washington Carver and Mark Twain are all from Missouri.
• you know what "Home of Throwed Rolls" means!
• you know what’s supposed to be “knee-high by the Fourth of July.”
• you pronounce Missouri with an “ah” at the end.
• you’ve ever said (or heard) “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.”
• you’ve seen people wear bib overalls to funerals.
• your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
• you've seen farmers stop work and remove their hat as a funeral passes by.
If you actually understand more than a few of these you definitely do live, or have lived, in Missouri! Or Kansas! :)