What is Detachment?

I recently saw the following in a comment on a good friend's blog.. it is good advice for control freaks like me.. and anyone else having trouble letting go.


Today I will practice detachment by letting go of things I can't control.

Detachment means standing back and looking at a situation without having a hand in it. Watching fireworks is practicing detachment. Flying a kite is not. Allowing friends the freedom to have their own opinions is practicing detachment. Feeling compelled to change their minds is not. Watching a child create her own drawing is practicing detachment. Holding her hand while she draws is not.

I can't control other people, their actions, or their beliefs by forcing them to act or believe as I do. Detachment helps me see the big picture, since I can see things more clearly from a distance.

Today, and from now on, I will practice taking care of myself by detaching from people or situations that aren't good for me. Today I will pay close attention to when I am trying to force the issue, and I'll remember that my time would be better spent leaving it alone.

7 comments:

  1. kinda like the defense mechanism 'dissociation'?

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  2. I think people confuse detachment with not caring or being selfish. I don't see it like that at all. Good luck on this quest. Sort of freeing isn't it?

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  3. When did you convert to Buddhism, Bob? ;-)

    Andy, you're right. Detachment is not the same as not caring. And, it's no the same as not taking action for good or against evil. It's not being attached to the outcome of your actions. And it's about accepting what already is.

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  4. Buddhism? This is right out of Dr Phil not the Dalai Lama :)

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  5. It's a hard lesson to learn, but one that's necessary.

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  6. Dr. Phil so just rips off the Buddha.

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  7. I enjoyed this - thanks! Good stuff.

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